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Why we recommend these books, and how to use them...
Have you ever gone into a bookstore looking for a little parenting advice and been absolutely overwhelmed by the many choices of parenting books available today? Which one is the best? Does it cover my 5-10 year old’s problems? Frustrated parents will talk of how many books they’ve gone through and the various techniques they’ve tried – for a while. Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret: At some point children figure out that you’ve just read another book (of many), and that you’re going to try something new – for a while. Frankly, most kids can outlast their parent’s in the patience game. So they’ve learned that if they just stubbornly hold onto their old ways, give you enough of a bad time with this new thing you’re trying on them, you’ll end of getting burned out and tired of it before they do and you'll give up. And guess what? You do!

Your search is finally over! Help is here. For 16 years, our staff has been helping parents and children resolve conflicts and to lead more satisfying lives. These are the books we have recommended over and over again. They are tried and true. The following books, if you really stick with them with the conviction that your life depends on it (because a happier life for you and your child ultimately do depend on it) can go a long way in helping you all with skills that will last a lifetime.

The three Essential Books alone will surely make an ultimately positive effect on the quality of your family’s life and your child’s behavior. One focuses on effective communication, which means better listening as well as speaking. The other deals with discipline that looks at the root of why your child is misbehaving, uses appropriate consequence and teaches responsible. Finally, the key to it all - Temperament. Those unique combination of personal qualities which make us - US. Not all "Spirited" children run screaming through the store, there are many ways to be "Spirited" and this book helps us see some core qualities we all possess. The other books, which are noted later on in the section, are for supplemental reading, or special needs, but for now just start with the three Essential Books.

The beauty of this is that these books hit so many of the key struggles we all experience, and provide concrete skills that can improve your interactions. You won’t need to try these ideas. You’ll want to just do them.

But whatever you do, don’t begin any of the suggestions until you’ve read all through the Essential Books completely, at least once. Then pick a couple of the most important ideas and begin with just a few. Don’t try to take it all on in one big overwhelming life change. Start slow, choose the most useful ideas for you and just begin to do one or two things differently. This will help you feel the change is more manageable. Make the commitment to have this time be different. This will need to become the new way of doing things, from now on! There’s no turning back or this will fail like all the other times. Be willing to tough it out, because your child will just think this is another phase you’re going through, just like the others. Once, they see you doing this new parenting thing longer than the others, the pressure will really be on, and they can often get worse before things get better. Don’t be discouraged. Have the courage of your convictions, and know that in the long run the payoff is truly long term progress. With patience, once you begin to see a change, don’t stop. You must keep doing this new parenting idea while you slowly add the next one or two new concepts. Don’t expect miracles, but change can and will happen.