 | On occasion Parentworks.com will receive a letter
through our Granny Jo advice feature which contains issues so important
and relevant to dilemmas facing parents that we will include them as an
Editorial feature. When this occurs it is because the wide range of issues
which arise as a response deserve more space than the usual advice column
allows. As, always we will try to answer as many letters as possible, so keeping
sending those questions into us at GrannyJo@parentworks.com |
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This GrannyJo question deals with issue of a drinking
grandparent and it's impact on young children. |
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Part of your job as parents is to protect your children from
situations which could be damaging or harmful to them. Teaching them the
importance of trusting their feelings and learning skills to protect themselves
is also in a loving, healthy parent's job description. |
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If you grew up in an alcoholic family, these may not have been
the lessons your received as a child. Sometimes people choose a healthier
spouse who can help them and see this as a chance to learn new parenting skills. |
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Many
people consider counseling at this time because the challenges of,
essentially, re-parenting yourself, while you learn to
appropriately teach your own children healthy skills can feel a bit
overwhelming. "It is difficult to teach what you do not know" is an
old saying that fits here and only through addressing these issues
will your family - you, your husband and your children break the
cycle of denial and secrecy for yourselves. |
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You must both realize that it is not your job nor
your goal to teach or change the rest of his family. Any efforts on
your family's part to notice "the elephant", change things the way
they've always been or do things differently they will likely be met
with resentment or anger. |
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Organizations such as Adult Children of
Alcoholics help adults and children who are struggling to deal with
their own feelings about living or coping with an alcoholic. Their
web site is
www.adultchildren.org |
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Suggested reading for younger children:
“Elephant in the Living Room: The Children’s Book” by Jill Hastings and Marian
Typpo for ages 4-8 $9.60,
“Kids Power: Healing Games for Children of Alcoholics” by Jerry Moe & Don
Pohlman ages 6-12 but indicated could be OK for younger kids $9.95,
“Dear Kids of Alcoholics” by Lindsey Hall & Leigh Cohen for 4-8 years $8.95
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