Irish and Scotch immigrants who came to America in the nineteenth century brought with them many of our concepts of Halloween such as a witch and cat, ghouls and goblins, devils and demons. These creatures were thought to represent evil spirits that emerged on Halloween. 

On Halloween we attempt to overcome and master our fears but an unforeseen attitude has also developed in our country. As our society became more dispersed, nursing homes and hospitals increasingly ended up as the final stop for our dying. The majority of the population became disconnected from not only the process of death, but came to fear any proximity to death or of dying itself.

Memorial Day and Veterans Day often have come to be seen by many as just a day off from work or school and unconnected to their real meanings. So our only attempt to deal with death is a holiday that pokes fun at that which has become so frightening. On Halloween we let our children stay out late, disguise themselves, walk around in the dark, go to strangers houses and eat too many sweets. While some of this is very empowering - it leaves a void. If we fear death, skeletons, coffins and make fun of overcoming that fear one night a year, where does the preparation for or increased understanding of death happen in our lives?

Before your family experiences a loss, talk with your children about what happens when someone dies. We all teach and talk to our children about so many things, yet generally not about death. Death means that there is no more breathing, no more moving. The love that you have for someone will never die but you don't get to see them any more. Let them know your own beliefs about what happens after someone dies. They do not need to be afraid. Help them - like you always do.